Outsmarting Myself by Soft Touch

33 photos

 

Ahh, this is the life! Right now all of my SEAL buddies were off in the swamps; playing in the mud, eating snakes and lizards, and having fun with the alligators while they played their silly Escape & Evasion games. But not me, I was smart. I played by the rules. All the rules said was that we had to stay away from our barracks and escape and evade the Aggressor XXXX for three days. Well, what better place to escape and evade to than my old buddy’s condo?
All I had to do was to hang out here for three days and then splash myself with a little mud and walk back into our barracks like I had been out playing in the swamp the whole time. All I had to do was—


“Hello Teasely.”
“What…?” Oh no, it was Torres and Cox from the Aggressor XXXX! How did they know I was here?
“Seaman Teasely, you are our prisoner,” Petty Officer Cox announced with an evil grin on his face.
Oh no, this was horrible! I was still trying to figure out where they came from and how they found me while they grabbed my skinny frame and began wrapping and tying tight ropes all around me.


“Wait a minute! You can’t come in here! This is private property! I’m gonna—“
Petty Officer Torres XXXX my face with his big hand while his buddy Petty Officer Cox looped a folded neckerchief over my head and then began drawing it hard up against my lips while Torres XXXX my jaws apart until the thick cloth slipped in between my teeth and began pulling the corners of my mouth back while Cox tied the folded cloth tightly behind my neck.
Then they pushed me back down into the chair and stood over me menacingly.
“Mmmeaman Mmmeasley,” I recited into the folds of cloth that were trapping my tongue down in the bottom of my mouth. “Mmmgited Gates Gavy—“


“Save you breath Teasely,” Cox grinned at me. “We ain’t interested in your name or your number.”
“Yea, we want you to tell us more interesting things just like your friends did,” Torres taunted.
Cox saw the look of surprise on my face and laughed. “Things like how smart you are and where you would be hiding out.”
My heart sunk down into my feet. What did these cruel bastards do to my friends to make them talk? They wouldn’t betray me like this.
“Now you just relax. You’re going to be here for a long time,” Cox advised.
“Yea, don’t go nowhere,” Torres laughed. “We’re gonna raid the kitchen.”


I watched the two of them disappear into the kitchen and I don’t mind telling you that I was scared. Somehow I had to get out of here!
So I struggled and I strained and I tried to ignore the pain of those tight ropes cutting into my body everywhere, but it was no good. Those knots were just too tight.
Maybe if I could get out the door? Maybe if somebody saw me they could help?
It wasn’t easy. Every muscle in my body was hurting by the time I was done. 

But I did manage to get up on my feet. Now if I could just get the door open--?
“Going somewhere Teasely?” Petty Officer Cox taunted me.
“Yea, take a load off.”  Petty Officer Torres gave me a little push and my whole bound-up body toppled over and down onto the floor.
“Now pay attention,” Cox advised. “We’re going to play a little game.”
“Yea, we brought you a few friends from the swamp,” Torres laughed.
Then I watched while Cox reached into an AWOL bag and took out a jar of muddy water with some black wormy things swimming in it. “We got some leeches.”

Then Torres pulled a wooden cage out of the bag and showed me a yellow and green spider that was as big as a coffee saucer. “An’ we got Freddy the Spider.”
And then a chuckling Cox took another jar out of the bag and showed me a many-legged creature that was so big its body was curled around to almost fill up the jar. “And then we got Petey the Centipedee. You ever been stung by a centipede?”
The skin all over my body began to crawl as I shook my gagged face from side to side. These guys were clearly insane!


“So here’s the deal,” Torres moved his ugly face close to mine. “We’re going to give you thirty minutes. You can either get loose from those ropes or you can tell us everything we want to know. You do either one and we’ll let you go back out to the swamp with the other guys where you belong.”
“Yea but if you don’t,” Cox chuckled. “Then we’re gonna start introducing you to our friends here, and then you’re gonna talk plenty.”
I looked up at their evil faces and then over at their creepy-crawly friends. 

Then I began to struggle and strain and twist my body and roll all over the floor while I tried to find some way to escape from those cruel ropes. 
But there was no escape. My body was had. 
And then my head began to hurt and I felt like I was going to cry because I just had to admit it to myself. Teasely, you’ve outsmarted yourself again.

 

THE END

Teasley played by Patrick
Photography by Caitiff

Date of Production: 03/16/2004

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