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            “What a weird dream I had,” Brad thought as he struggled to open his groggy eyes.  Then he looked over on the couch and saw Aaron and Chuck.  That was really weird.  It looked like they had tape over their mouths and ropes tied around his feet.
            TWEET!  TWEET!
            What was that?  Then Brad discovered that he had tape all over his mouth, too, and some comedian had stuck one of those party noisemakers between his lips so that each time he tried to talk all he could make was this stupid tweeting sound.  Brad tried to pull the stupid toy out of his mouth, but that was when his dazed brain discovered that his hands and feet were tied up too.  What the hell…?
            And then Brad remembered and realized that maybe he hadn't been dreaming after all.  Santa Claus, or somebody who looked like him, had been here.  Then it all came back to Brad in a rush – his naked body, the foul tasting rag in his mouth, the tight ropes that held him so that he was blushing all over, and then that laughing Santa Claus.
            “Don't worry boys; I have a nice colorful hanky for each of you.”  And then he had laughed and laughed while he poured some XXXX juice out of a perfume bottle onto each of the hankies.  First he had held a hanky over Chuck and Aaron’s noses until they both dozed off into a deep XXXX.  The he poured some perfume onto a nice pink hanky for Brad and then held it like he was blowing Brad’s nose until the cloying sweetness on the hanky made Brad fall into a deep XXXX.
            TWEET!  TWEET!
            Brad cursed the noisemaker while he tried to get Chuck and Aaron’s attention.  Finally his two friends stirred in their XXXX, opened their eyes, and then started making panic noises behind their taped over lips when they discovered the tight ropes that were wrapped around them.
            TWEET!  TWEET!
            Brad tried to ask his two friends to help him to get untied, but Chuck and Aaron pretty much ignored him as they struggled to untie each other’s ropes instead.  Maybe if they could get loose, then they would come and help Brad, so Brad made more tweeting sounds as he encouraged his two friends to hurry.
            “Ho!  Ho!  Ho!  What is this?”

            Brad’s heart fell down to his feet as he saw a bearded guy coming into the room.
            “Trying to get away…?  No, that won't do at all.  If you leave now, you won't get to see Santa Claus when he comes.”
            TWEET!  TWEET!   TWEET!  Brad protested as loud as he could through his noisemaker, but he couldn't stop the bearded guy from pulling him out of the chair and then XXXX him to sit on the floor with his two friends so that now they were all sitting back to back.  And then the bearded guy kept right on laughing in a jolly way that was making Brad sick to his stomach while he wrapped more and more ropes around Brad and his two friends until they were closer together than they had ever been before.
            Then the bearded guy hoisted a big bag full of all of the nice presents that he had stolen from the three friends and then went on out the door.  The door closed with a solid thunk and Brad’s heart sunk.  This was going to be the worst Christmas ever.
            “Ho!  Ho!  Ho!” came a big jolly voice.
            “Oh no, he’s coming back!” Brad thought while he struggled against the tight ropes.
            But then Brad heard a very strange sound.  It sounded just like thirty-two little hoofs all prancing together on the roof.  Could it be?
            “Dear Santa,” Brad began re-writing his Christmas letter in his head.  “Instead of that nice MP3 Player I asked you for, could you please bring me a sharp knife?  Thank you, your little friend, Brad.”